i've heard it can be overwhelming...registering: round ii

If round one was overwhelming, round two was just the opposite. As I'd mentioned we planned on looking at a couple of pieces at Bloomie's that we were thinking about adding. We had pretty specific pieces in mind, but also figured we'd do some looking...this plan had been formed before we had discussed adding another registry location.

I guess we could have checked out some basics in bed and bath, but having been warned the first time out against registering too early for these seasonally changing items we've let them fall off our radar. Foundation pieces shouldn't change though. Comforter, pillows...maybe next time.

Fortunately we also planned to start our registry at location number two: Crate & Barrel.

Even this stop was kind of a bust. I will credit it to David not feeling well and the lingering disappointment from stop one {not to mention our poorly formed - and changed - plan}.

In other news on the registry front, Kim Kardashian has created a bit of hubbub surrounding her registry, having registered for many high ticket items totaling well over $100,000. Honestly, I wasn't blown away by this news. They are multi-millionaires with multi-millionaire friends. It makes sense.

Then, on the other end of the spectrum, there is Tony Romo, who registered for things that cost less than a single dollar. Really? I understand not wanting to ask for extravagant gifts when you have money of your own. But in that case I say why register at all? Instead of registering for things that your fortunately-funded guests can afford to buy that you may not normally treat yourself to, you ask them for things you could easily purchase for yourself? That seems even crazier to me.

We realized from our own trips out that we are likely going to register for much more than we could possibly receive and that there are things on our registry that some may think are simply too expensive. We have a clear and simple stance on the process: register for things we want. We are registering for gifts at a range of prices, but we're simply not going to register for things that we wouldn't buy {or treat ourselves to} if given the opportunity. We have no expectations as to what registering for the higher-end items will bring. What is the alternative? Scaling back our tastes and registering for different items simply because they cost less?

Not if that means registering for things we wouldn't buy ourselves.

In general, if I receive a gift that I don't think I'll actually use I feel extreme guilt in accepting it. I don't care if it cost nothing. I hate waste. Food, gifts, and especially money. I hate to feel that someone has spent money {and their time} on a gift that doesn't get used. I think this feeling would be amplified if I asked for something I didn't really want.

The typical argument that that isn't the point of a gift {the point being the thought the purchaser put into the gift and the intention of love behind it} is made moot by the fact that this is one situation that we are picking the list.

Other notes: Not everyone purchases from the registry and we can always buy what's left on our list!

So, what do you think? Can you register for too much or too expensive?

Any opinions on buying off-registry?

Similarly, what are your thoughts about disseminating sale info for the stores at which you've registered? I wouldn't know how one would put the info out there without appearing tacky, but from the guest perspective wouldn't it be nice information to have. If you can buy something at a discount when you planned on buying it anyway then what's the difference? Thoughts?

currently coveting

I have adored these custom hangers from Lila Frances from the moment I first saw them.

They look great in photos and they're just a little something special.

They can be as simple as "mrs [his name here]" or a variation with both first names.

I don't know which I love most.

I do know I want one!

the things no one tells you about working with a planner

Hello. My name is Gillian. I am a control freak.

This tendency might not be one that works well with a wedding planner.

I am the kind of person that doesn't like to accept help of any kind if it involves one taking something off my plate to complete without my supervision.

When it comes to my wedding, I want to be heavily involved. While I know my day cannot be perfect, I feel that with a heavy guiding hand I can get it pretty darn close.

So why hire a wedding planner if I need control? Doesn't hiring a wedding planner imply that I would want to relinquish some control? And doesn't it inherently mean that I need to play well with others? And relinquish at least a little control?

Well, we wanted a man on the ground. We wanted someone that understood our vision and could bring it to light. On those fronts I still harbor faith.

We needed someone to pare down our options (even in the Tampa to Bradenton market there are so many). While, yes, we have time on our side {I even vastly more than David}, we really don't want to go through a thousand reviews {that we tend to doubt anyway - some people are very easily pleased} and we certainly don't want to check out a million websites {some don't do the company justice, others make them look better than they might be}.

We wanted expertise. How do we go about x? What is reasonable for us to pay for y?

We wanted assistance in attaining (close to) perfection.

We wanted stress reduction.

We're getting stress amplification. Dramatic amplification.

More than once so far since signing our contract with our planner have we both totally stressed in reviewing our correspondence.

Cause of our stress? Poor communication. {?} At least so it seems. More specifically, the stress flares when we feel like we have expressed our desires clearly and explicitly and they are liberally interpreted. At best.

After the first such breakdown we had a super-meeting with our planner and thought we all ended on the same page.

This time it's about catering. {just thinking about it makes my heart rate jump}

I do give our planner credit. She took the initiative to reach out to caterers, knowing that we walked away from our meeting in April with catering on David and I's to-do list. {I'm not being sarcastic, she knew we fell off the planning wagon and was getting started for us} The problem is, the menus she's been working on (going back and forth on quotes) only vaguely reflect what we discussed. The menus are starting points and aren't concrete. I know. The problem is she's spending time heading in the wrong direction. Again, this still isn't a problem for some. It is her time after all. But time is money. I hate wasted time. And I hate that, by doubling back over work she's started, the time she spent was wasted. And, honestly, not just time for work for our wedding. She could have used that time for another bride. Double work simply isn't an efficient use of anyone's time. And I love efficiency.

Problem #2: we talked food. For a good portion of our super-face-to-face.

We have a clear vision of food. We have super-specific ideas. We shared said ideas. Apps, entrées, sides, service. We had ideas and we shared 'em. The menus, and therefore the quotes, include food that we even specifically said we absolutely, without question, did not want {namely chicken, a bird i prefer to live on and produce eggs than be killed for consumption. perhaps one day I will address my ethical feelings about food, this time it's strictly on the basis that I - we - feel chicken is a waste of a meal - and therefor a life. there are too many things that taste supremely better}. We know that the options we want (fish, beef) cost more. We specifically addressed that the cut of beef and kind of fish are highly negotiable to work with our budget. But to leave them out? What then is the point of obtaining a quote? And, further, negotiating it? It's artificially low.

And then there's the part of this whole thing where David and I want everything to be smooth and we don't want to make waves and say "no. wrong." at every turn. We really adore our planner. We keep saying we think she'll prove her worth when it comes to...And we do think she'll be worth it - just as soon as we get this communication thing under control.

This time, like last time, we have addressed it. We are engineers at heart. Problem solvers. We prefer to put in more time (work) up front to do it right the first time. So if something is unclear or more specifics are needed get us into the conversation early. Before approaching the vendors even. We want to be involved. Communication is key.

I won't lose any more sleep. Things will improve.

They must.

i've heard it can be overwhelming...registering

We were on a wedding planning roll on our Florida trip and in the following week. We felt like we were on it. We had to-dos. Then we signed contracts. Then we got out of planning mode altogether. I don't know what it is. I have felt personally resistant to doing any kind of work on any of it. Maybe I was bitten by the "we've-got-time" bug. Whatever it is, we want to get decisions made early and we're hurting only ourselves by avoiding.

When we planned our weekend in New York we had more want-to-dos on our list than we had time (or meals) to do them. We only had a couple must-dos. Chief among them: starting our registry at Bloomingdale's. {yes, we have tons of time but people are starting to ask so we may as well at least start}

We decided Monday would be best since it's the last day of the weekend and, like Sunday, we know we like to be a little more low-key knowing it's our last free day. So, filled and fueled by a delicious meal from one of our favorite brunch spots, we took to 59th and 3rd to the registry department.

Immediately, I was intimidated. "Hi, do you have an appointment?" the girl at the front desk asked. {no. we're supposed to?} "No, we don't." "Okay, fortunately we should be able to get you right in. Nathalie will help you, she should be back in a few minutes." {who would have thought you needed an appointment to scan stuff on your own in a store}

The front room wasn't very big, and there we sat with three other couples. While we waited I surveyed our peers {though "peers" might be a stretch}. One couple seemed a little older than us. Another, already married toting bags of returns. The last were the ones that got me.

He was sprawled out on the couch. One arm on the arm the other stretched over the back. Leg crossed, foot-on-knee style, taking up space. He had glasses. Overly styled hair {i don't like it when it appears that the man has stood in front of the mirror for any significant amount of time and this guy was more than sporting that look.} He wore khakis and a button-down with an oversized watch. His demeanor said he owned the place. Her ring said they could. At least three karats. Oval cut. Flanked by two yellow diamonds. It was pretty. I would had liked it if not for the smug air that clung to these people. She had just popped back into the room from scanning a new item. She commented that that item alone was $760. He nodded. The kind of knocking his head back that said par for the course. He had the air of someone that would refer to others as "the help". He made my skin crawl.

Then Nathalie came and took us back. We gave her our basic details: date, approximate guest count. She talked us through some of the highlights of our bag and suggested we pick one room to start with. We figured we could do the dining room and kitchen. We're pretty sure of ourselves in those areas. I get David to look at china whenever we go into a department store so china is where we'd start.

He likes something simple. I like something with a bit more character. Fun. Whimsical. While still being adult and timeless. We looked at china for a half hour or more before Nathalie came out to check on us. We narrowed down the designer we liked and knew we were interested in mixing and matching. We had pulled a few collections over to the trial table to see how they worked together. Our dinner plates would be the most simple. We'd accent from there with a slight pattern. The problem was both the patterns worked well with the base and we weren't pulled one way or the other. That's where Nathalie comes in, loaded with all sorts of crazy logic. She went in the back and pulled out a second set of the basic collection and arranged two place settings, each accented with a different pattern. Did we like them side by side? Yes, for a large dinner party the alternating patterns would be fun. Different. Then with smaller groups we had options. What a simple solution.Then she pulled out the coordinating serve wear. Cream and sugar bowls, platters, serving bowls. It was all too much. We said we'd come back to it and moved on to flatware.

We picked up every fork and knife in the room. If we liked the look, we didn't like the weight. The things that felt good in the hand were not the style we were after. We held the sterling {not returnable. FYI}. There were styles we liked and the weight is just right. The issue here lies in the price. Nearly $500 for one 5 piece set. Seriously? We would never. If we would buy it ourselves we are surely not going to ask someone else to. {We have since found some online that we like. Now we just have to find it to see how it feels in hand.}

By this point I was entirely overwhelmed by the decision making. Nathalie did remind us that if we got our china and changed our minds we could always bring it back. It took a bit of pressure off, but I prefer to get it right the first time.

Instead of going room by room we decided to simply follow the floor around and thought luggage should be a simple stop. We only wanted a couple of pieces. We started at one brand but soon found ourselves happy with another, less expensive, but as reliable option. Just as we were about to scan the salesman told us that the line was being discontinued and to stick with the big brands {as it turns out said line does not appear to be being discontinued by the designer. it is possible Bloomingdale's no longer plans to carry it} So back to our first likes. Scanned. In and out and time for the next stop.

Kitchen? Where's it at? Let's just look at the crystal. It may be a reach but it doesn't hurt to add it. No? Just a couple of pieces.

Then we found the kitchen. We have long known what brand cookware we want. Picking the pieces is a different story. We cook all the time. What the heck do we use? I think we're confident in our selections. Maybe? We can always go back. We need to do more anyway. Next up, cast iron. Just a few pieces. What will be most useful? That was pretty quick and painless.

Next electrics? I like to do research on these kinds of things. We need a new toaster oven {one of our most used kitchen tools, currently on it's last leg}. I know exactly which one I want. But with the pressure the name completely escaped me. Then David's phone was being slow and refused to pull up the page. We'll have to add it later {we have}. Okay, we'll just come back to electrics. We can do knives.

All we had to do was hold a couple from the set we've been eyeing. Unfortunately kitchen is a very popular {read lots of customers} and understaffed floor. When we were finally able to flag down a registry consultant she had to wrangle a key from someone on the floor to unlock the knives. Then she had to wrestle with a temperamental lock. When we finally got to hold them we were happy. There are a few more that they didn't have in the store to scan that we will want in our block. We'll add them next time. And they didn't have a knife block for the loose knives. Only the sets. We'll have to add it at Crate and Barrel.

With all that I was burnt out. I felt like I'd been running a race and there was still so much left to do. We didn't look at glassware, we gave up on serve ware. We didn't get to bakeware or any kitchen accessories. That's only kitchen and dining! Then there are bedrooms and bathrooms. And I thought it could be done in one day. It can't. Next time I'll be prepared for my stress level. And maybe I'll grab veggie juice to start...

dressing up

Did you miss me? MIA for a week. Mom says it was just because I love her so much I wanted to give her a bit more face time. I do love my momma! I haven't been totally absent. I've essentially been microblogging: Pinterest! If you haven't heard about it or used it, it's about time you did. I'm addicted.

If there was one thing I knew for sure about my bridesmaids it was that I wanted them in blue.

1. jenny yoo 2. armani collezioni 3. bhldn 4. diane von furstenberg 5. aqua

Specifically, navy blue. Well, or royal blue. Even more specifically, a beautiful shade of blue on one of the lovely silk taffeta ensembles from J. Crew.

j. crew 1. blakely 2. bow monde 3. nanine 4. mika

Unfortunately, when I began this dreaming of bridesmaids, J. Crew wasn't offering any kind of desirable blue in the fabric. I didn't waver. I was sure that when it came time to order J. Crew would have come to their senses. They now have a couple of blues...we're not quite to ordering yet.

This collection was perfect. Short. Fun. Elegant. Re-wearable.

Mom raised a red flag. Sometimes people's knees are not quite so quite. I brushed that one off as one of her oddities. {though she has a point - knees aren't always one's loveliest attribute.

Then, an excited bridesmaid sent me this little gem.

j. crew: arabelle long

It's so romantic. Ethereal. Diaphanous. {and, yes, it comes in blue, i just wanted to capture the detail in the bodice}. Maybe short silk taffeta isn't the way to go {though these haven't been ruled out. we first must do some in person scouting}.

I had previously entertained other options {see the top row of photos}. There is certainly more romance in a flowier fabric...

Continuing my search, I also found myself pulled toward styles that were either only available in a non-color (champagne, blush,etc.) or simply looked better in said non-color.

bcbg 1. 2. 

Our entire mood is romantic. These lovelies fit the bill. And their fashionable {read: re-wearable. that is, of course, re-wearable at a more formal occasion}

The search continues.

In my perusal of what seems like every bridesmaid gown designer on the market {hyperbole, yes. not by much. i scoured.} I found some new must-sees.

May I introduce Priscilla of Boston (and her offspring Vineyard & Melissa Sweet):

1. vineyard 2. priscilla of boston 3. priscilla of boston 4. vineyard

So much to choose from. Short. Long. Fabrics of all types. Colors and colors {and non-colors for good measure}.

1. priscilla of boston 2. priscilla of boston 3. vineyard 4. priscilla of boston 5. vineyard

Some lean more toward elegant than ethereal. On this point, I could go either way. This is where the shopping comes in.

melissa sweet

There is also this little number that I had to throw in for fun. Great dress, not quite the fabric I have in mind. Not in our setting.

Finally the belle of the ball: Amsale.

I love her bridal gowns, though I don't see myself in one. But her bridesmaids dresses...I'm completely sold. {though they are a bit pricey. really what bridesmaids dresses aren't?}

amsale 1. 2.

There's the sleek chic in jersey. Definitely re-wearable.

amsale 1. 2. 3. 4.

Then there are the billowy lot with rosette details. {trying to steer clear of odd "wedding-y" details that make them less marketable for multi-use.

amsale 1. 2. 3. 4. 5. 6.

Then there are these more simple styles. Absolutely stunning. I feel pretty just looking at them. Romantic. Feminine. They come in blue. I have a new love. I can't wait to go shopping.

amsale

I couldn't leave out this beauty. After all, this was one of the dresses on my be-my-bridesmaid cards {and was independently inspired, I had not yet found this particular dress in real-life}

So my goals for my ladies:

*Choose something they're head-over-heals in love with. This is why I love love love bridesmaids in different styles, same color, same fabric {though same fabric may be flexible depending on how it all looks}. You get to look your best and therefore feel your best and therefore look amazing in pictures {photography = priority 1}.

*Choose something they can wear again. Seriously. Not just the "oh you'll wear it all the time" kind of thing. But the "omg I just found a picture of my bridesmaid in her dress and she hasn't even worn it to the wedding yet" {no joke, found that problem in a wedicate article. and ladies, that does not mean i want you to actually wear the dress before the wedding}

That means: no silk dup, no matte satin, avoid satin if at all possible, no weird "wedding-y" details/appliques.

*Don't break the bank. As I've mentioned, I have expensive taste. Bridesmaids dresses are, by nature, expensive. But, when it comes down to it, the first two criteria must be met to justify the expense. I, however, don't want to be the bride that puts her loved ones in the poor house for a dress. {my general rule for buying is to spend more on an absolute love than spend less for a wear it once and never look at it again. but, in this case, it's not my money.}

Please note: if you have not had your fill of bridesmaid dress love you can find more on my Pinterest board designed specifically for the topic: my lovely ladies

currently coveting

I love a simple and elegant wedding cake. Clean. Maybe metallic. Maybe some flowers - edible only {as a rule i don't like non-edibles on a cake}. That being said I am also obsessed with darling cake toppers. Namely the custom folks from the smallest object.

the smallest object

They are made to look like you. I love love love these. Love.

be mine. the reveal.

During our week in the Sunshine State, David and I took a few lovely ladies on "dates."

I presented each with a personal card and a pretty white box. If they said yes the contents of the box was theirs.

What'd they get? A couple things that are personal to me.

A different teacup. Thin. The way I like it. {it's not a mug}.

And in the teacup... 

A delicious Chocolate Buttermilk Cupcake with Reese's Peanut Butter Frosting. My favorite. Perfection.

{note: I made these cupcakes Monday. there were way too many. I only needed 4. we left the following Sunday. I didn't eat a single one. I, now, kick myself}

If you want to taste these fancies go for it:

Chocolate Cupcakes with Reese's Peanut Butter Frosting
for the Chocolate Buttermilk Cake:

adapted from cherry tea cakes

3/4 cups unsalted butter, softened
1 3/4 cups granulated sugar
2 tsp vanilla extract
3 large eggs
2 cups all-purpose flour
1 cup dutch process cocoa
1 1/2 tsp baking soda
3/4 tsp Kosher Salt
1 1/2 cups buttermilk

Preheat oven to 350° F. Line cupcake pans.

In the bowl of a stand mixer, cream together butter and sugar until blended on a low speed then increase speed to high for a few minutes until pale and fluffy. Reduce speed to low; add eggs, 1 at a time. Mix until well combined

In a large bowl, sift together flour, cocoa, baking soda, and 3/4 teaspoon salt. Whisk to combine.

In liquid measuring cup, mix buttermilk and vanilla.

Add in flour mixture and buttermilk mixture alternately. Beginning and ending with flour mixture. Add a splash more buttermilk if batter appears too stiff.

Divide batter evenly among lined cupcake tins, filling 2/3 of tin. Repeat with the remaining batter.

Bake 15 minutes or until toothpick inserted in center of cake comes out clean.

Cool slightly in pans then transfer to wire racks to cool completely before frosting.

Gillian's Reese's Peanut Butter Frosting
1/2 cup Reese’s Peanut Butter 
1/2 cup cream cheese
1/2 cups confectioners’ sugar
1/4 tsp vanilla
splash milk

In a medium bowl, cream together peanut butter and cream cheese. Add 1/2 cup confectioners’ sugar. Mix to combine. Add vanilla. Add another 1/2 cup confectioners’ sugar. Mix to combine. Add remaining sugar and milk as necessary, to reach desired consistency.

NOTE: Start with above recipe but adjust any element to taste - more PB, more vanilla, more sugar, etc.

Enjoy!!

be mine.

We're almost 4 months into our engagement and I have not yet asked a soul to stand next to me as a bridesmaid {or maid of honor}.

Not for lack of consideration.

Actually, I've given the subject a lot of thought.

I'd decided on the desired size and composition on about December 25th.

David and I are the worst at keeping friends, so we knew we wanted a very intimate group. That's not to say it's the smallest wedding party {in my mind that would consist of one for me, one for him} but an intimate group.

We often discuss adding more to my side. There are more than a million arguments for adding friends that have meant {and mean} so much to me.

We always come back to the start.

There is no perfect answer. So, like the first testing tip you ever learn, go with your first answer.

So, how to ask?

How do other people ask? E-mail? No freakin' way. I'm not judging but... {four words that, combined, mean something quasi-judgemental is probably coming next} people don't really do that, right? Face-to-face? Ideal. But now I live in Rhode Island {makes things a little tricky}. Phone call? An option, but such a small group deserves a bit more. Letter, card, package? Definitely makes the distance a little more personal and personal is key.

What are the folks on the dot com doing?

A gift? Simple as a bottle of wine. {me - but not me enough}. Elaborate as a box of goodies. {easy killer we are on a budget}.

{Artful Beginnings via From Hello to Hitched}

A photo gift? Popular, it seems. Nice gift. {but, while I love photography, this one just doesn't say me}.

{Picture Card from Wiley Valentine, Photo Gift from Elizabeth Anne Designs, Picture Cards from Elizabeth Anne Designs} 

Baked goods? Sweet & eat. Fab.

{The Flour Pot via From Hello to Hitched}

A nice card? I looooooove any excuse for a card. There are some great ones out there, too.

{Bear Hug from Oh So Beautiful Paper, DIY Dresses from Wedding Chicks, Letterpress from Ritzy Bee Blog, Detail Kit from Elizabeth Anne Designs}

Love the letterpress. {surprise}. The little pack of details is great too. {but I think I want to start off the bride-bridesmaid relationships with a bit less neuroticism}.

{Envelope Pocket from Enjoy It}

Again, fun & detailed.

{Folding Bridesmaids from Ritzy Bee}

My personal fav. {I could never master the chain of paper dolls}.

And one for the boys:

{Dude card from Wedding Chicks}

Obviously, I want it to be personal. I want each of my girls to know how much it would mean for them to be there, standing with me.

At this point, I think they know it's coming. There is only so much surprise you can keep.

But the how - I'm the only one that knows. I have the picture in my head. Now it's a matter of execution. I've always been moderately crafty. Here's the test!

Pictures will follow once the invitations have been delivered {and hopefully accepted}.

we need a wok: registering

I am in full-swing wedding mode today!

Our planner sent us some photographers to check out {in addition to those we'd reached out to on our own} so I started by checking those out. Some we'd already looked at. Some we hadn't. I'm somewhat relieved that there were none that stole my heart. Since photography is super subjective we really took the wheel on that one. And, while Staci {planner-select} may think we're totally nutso transporting our photographer from Florida's East Coast, we say if the price is right and the work is beautiful then what's the difference?

{sidenote: I'd love love love feedback on the photographers we think we've narrowed it down to: Kallima, Bee Photographie & Jessica Lorren}

Now, to the wok:

Last night we made yet another go-to meal for dinner: fried rice.

Every time I'm mixin' up that meal in our largest saute pan I make a mess of my lovely stovetop!

So go buy a wok. Simple solution.

For some reason we have it in our minds that we're going to register for one, silly as that may be.

We have a tool we can use for the time being. That's just one that we want.

So, how early is too early to register?

Obviously, one must have a date. Check...well, kind of...we have a date reserved...we also have a contract to be signed...I digress.

I tend to think the earlier the better. I mean, no one is going feel obligated to started buying just because a registry exists. Right? Plus, it'll be something I can check off the list. And it will be fun-ish. I imagine it will take more time then we think it will. So start early and take it slow-ish.

We know where we want to register. David was initially concerned that the stores aren't necessarily in close proximity to our guests that will (or will not) be buying from them. We have since agreed that our physical distance from said guests would make it a little nonsensical for them to be going into a store to purchase from our registry to then ship it to us? Or, better yet, buy a gift from whichever store then traveling with said gift to our wedding in Florida for us to then travel with said gift back to Rhode Island {or wherever in the world we are living}. A wondrous thing that interweb!

P.S. Staci also got me talking food...let me tell you, I managed to write her a novel, leaving out many specific ideas. It was, after all, just to get her started. But you, my friends, will have to wait for those details...

a bride(to-be) in white: blush

Part II: Blush

Not quite white. It has the same feeling. Romantic color. Romantic fabric.

{clockwise from top left: Halston, Nightcap, J. Crew, Rebecca Taylor, Valentino, Badgley Mischka}

{clockwise from top left: Aidan Mattox, Sue Wong, Badgley Mischka, L'Wren Scott, L'Wren Scott, Badgley Mischka}

If only I were half as inspired by the clothes I can actually find (and afford).

a bride(to-be) in white: whitest edition

I love white. I love many variations of white.

Pre-wedding festivities are the perfect excuse to indulge in white fashion. Hence, I will display my love for these goodies in various installments.

First, romantic white (with a bit of silvery-grey). I am finding myself in love with romantic clothes recently. I'm sure it is more than partly caused by my obsession with Jose Villa and romantic, vintage-style wedding photos. Romantic styles are also so reminiscent of spring. Lace & ruffles. Mmmm.

However, my style as it exists now, with my quite limited wardrobe, is comprised of tees and jeans. I can exist infinitely with the basics (and a great pair of nude heels).

To that effect:

I must have this Halston dress. Basic. Beautiful. Perfect for bride-to-be activities.

the perfect shot

Do you know how hard it is to find a great photographer?

Photography is the most important wedding decision I will make.

Exaggeration? No.

The food is important. The location is important. The dress is important.

All of it is lost without photography.

So hire a photographer. Easy solution. But why would I pay someone to do the job of a basic point and shoot camera, especially when we're talking about thousands of dollars.

Photography is an art and a skill. Many photographers, it seems, don't have a grasp on both. 

I don't by any means think that my minimal photography education makes me an expert, but I do know what is aesthetically pleasing - at least for me.

I have looked at countless pictures in which I don't know what the shooter was trying capture. 

And the use of light. Horrifying lights glaring into the lens. Overblown highlights. Moments lost to shadow. Or worse, outdoor night photos in which the couple has the unnatural glow of the photographer's lamp. You may as well attach a flash to your camera.

Then there is the sun. It can be a beautiful addition to a photo if captured correctly - a golden thread or an auric glow. It can be a major distraction if not.

And my favorite of all...the posed "natural" shots. "Stand facing that way, now position your arms this way, and turn your head over there." When do these look good? You just end up looking very uncomfortable.

There are really a million things that can put a photographer into the "not worth my money" category - these are just a few.

So I press on. For the ones that can capture moments well create works of beauty and make the search worth it.

the "F" word

{pardon my french}

No, not that one.

Fiancé. One "F" word that hasn't found its home in my vocabulary.

I know I'm engaged. I know we're getting married. I even have a beautiful little piece of hardware with me at all times as a portable reminder. But I just can't seem to get a handle on the word.


Whenever I talk to someone new (e.g. the TV repairman) and David comes up in conversation (as he often does), he is "my boyfriend."

Everyone else has it down. And they remind me when I use the wrong moniker.

True, he was my boyfriend for five and a half years. But everyone else knew him as my boyfriend for the same amount of time. How can I be the last to pick it up?

Fortunately, I have 20(ish) months to add fiancé to my vocabulary.

Then it changes.

Again.

the engagement

12.24.2010:
David and Gillian fall asleep on the couch waiting for Santa {Gillian dressed in her new Christmas PJs}.
At some point between sleeping on the couch and each of us making our way into bed Santa loaded the tree with presents and stuffed our stockings.

12.25.2010:
Bright and early (before 7am) we woke to our beautiful tree surrounded by pretty presents.
Then I realize Mike and Mom aren't there to make coffee so that becomes mission no. 1.
After 5 years together, David and I haven't woken up on Christmas morning together until now.
We don't know where to start.
I suggest starting at the beginning with the stockings.
{At home Braendi opens her stocking pretty quickly, Bailey speeds through and I take my time, not ripping any paper, since I know I'm the oldest and I have less to work through}
I know David has a bit in his stocking so I take my usual slow pace.
With each item I take out he keeps slowing down.

"You have more in there. Keep going." I tell him.

Still moving too slowly for my taste he continues...until...
I open the last little box wrapped in pale blue paper with sparkly snow flakes.
Inside is a gorgeous blue box with a delicate white bow.
I'm stunned.
He stops unwrapping and tells me that gift is for him.
He unties the ribbon and opens the box.
He says all the sweet and wonderful things we tell each other all the time (after that long, talk of spending our lives together and the word "wife" aren't entirely new to our vocabularies).
But this time is different.
This time he has slipped off the couch and onto one knee and is holding a black velvet box holding what proves to be a beautiful solitaire diamond ring.
{At some point I've started to get "welly" and then teary}
This time he asks me to marry him.
I said, "Of course I will."
He opens the box and slips the way-to-big ring on my finger.

Then I say, in perfect Gillian style,"But you know, typically you show the ring before you ask."

I'm an ass. But he loves me.

Best Christmas ever.

But now let's backtrack.

12.17.2010:
As I'm checking my e-mail, David sees something before I do, takes the computer from me and deletes something from my e-mail.
Bickering ensues.
He won't tell me what he's deleted or why.
It's the AmEx bill. It doesn't have a balance in the e-mail. It just says that my statement is ready.
The thing is, David handles paying the AmEx so I never check the statement.
We will talk about it around the due date, but I don't check it.
I get over it and tell him I won't check it but I still want to know why.
But I get it. I'm pretty sure he doesn't want me to find out what he got me for Christmas.
I have a bad habit of solving mysteries.

12.20.2010:
David and I are trying to finalize some Christmas orders.
I try to go to the AmEx bonus points mall but I can't remember how I got there before so I go to our homepage.
The homepage displays our statement balance and I lose it and almost start crying because I think someone has gotten ahold of my credit card number (not long before I stupidly read my credit card number to J. Crew over the phone in a crowded place).
I immediately hand the computer David and tell him to check the account details since I promised not to check it.
He promises to call AmEx.
I ask him if he sees anything weird...
He says, "No."
I ask him if he bought me a smart car for Christmas. {My head tells me he made a different large purpose that comes in a much smaller package}
I put it out of my head. Just because he has the ring doesn't mean he's proposing any time soon. Right?
Plus, we're going to NYC sometime in the next couple months so he's probably going to do it there.

Good thing I decided a proposal wasn't coming soon.

That's how I can say I was truly surprised.

It was perfect. For us.

location. location. location.

{Style Me Pretty}

There is something so romantic about being outside under the cover of (elegantly lit) trees. It just adds a sense of intimacy to being out under the open sky. I love it.

{Once Wed}

One of the planners we met with described our wedding style as "very Anthropologie." I didn't see it before. It certainly fits our inspiration photos and what we see for our day.

More importantly, the description fits us.

Anthropologie is romance and vintage inspiration. The stores and the clothes just make me happy.

{Google}

While in Florida we began our search for potential venues. Our criteria: romantic atmosphere, bay view, outdoor space. NO BALLROOMS.

One was incredible. The views were breathtaking. The space was grand. It wasn't us. We don't want the focus to be the venue itself - and it would be. Our vision includes candlelight and lace which would simply have a tough time competing with the elements of the space. We would need to be more dramatic - and that is not us. Plus the rental agreement was pretty inflexible and our time there would be extremely limited.

The second was romantic. The house was beautiful. It has the bay view that we wanted. It's just missing the trees that I love so much...

So what are our options?

Find a local farm that will be romantic and have trees? Catch is, we're not farm people. While the venue would be nice and may suit the vision - it says nothing about the two of us.

Go in a totally different direction?

A ballroom? ::gasp::

An industrial space? It fits our urban side - but traveling to Florida to pretend you're in a big city seems silly to me.

Golf course? Country Club? Another city/state/country? No. No. No.

So, though I don't like feeling like there is only one option, I think I know which way to go.

getting organized

<<Organizational Heaven>>

22 month engagement = planning marathon

Slow and steady wins the race...and hopefully some savings!

Being the nerd that I am, I was excited to receive my beautiful planning binder and Moleskine notebooks. This little kit from russell + hazel was a little pricey for a notebook but it's gorgeous  and I'll use it and their website has great templates for my planning enjoyment.

Now I need to move my notes into the new notebooks.

Planner phone interviews are complete. In-person meetings are scheduled (well, all but one). Two venue appointments have been made (I'm supposed to call one other place but haven't).

I just need to find out whether we can get a ride to/from PVD and set up a car rental for our stay at home.

"weds"-day

Lace. Romance. Candlelight. Antiqued glass. Low arrangements.

Inspiration: beautiful slim-line lace dresses and the feeling you get from low amber light.

Plus: Mediterranean architecture on the bay. 

Romance. Romance. Romance.

And of course, great food, mucho dancing and all my lovies.

= D&G Wedding Eve 2012

(Image: source unknown)