work it out

What makes a good workout? 

I just can't seem to get the formula right. At least, not recently.

Sometimes running comes so easily and when you're done you're ready for the weights that lie ahead.

Other times running is laborious. You suck wind, never hitting the right stride or breath.

That's been my week.

For a few weeks I was calling Monday "6-mile Monday" because for whatever reason I could easily run for a full hour at a good pace. {if I could have gone longer I wouldn't know, that's when the treadmill says no more, please.} I credit those Mondays to cooler weather and my body's desire to compensate for an unhealthful weekend. Whatever it was, they are no longer.

Last week when I got to 15 minutes I had a choice to make: finish my laborious run or stop and actually be able to do the weights portion of my routine without feeling completely ill {and therefore stopping early}. Knowing David was still not up for the gym {from his teeth. still having pain}, I could do run part two afterward if I was up for it (and by that point I usually was).

This week has been off. I've been going, just not getting through. So, not a complete loss, but nevertheless frustrating.

But the "success" of the workout is almost entirely determined by the run.

So what makes the difference?

I've heard yogurt is a great pre-gym snack - but that's more for weight loss and physical results, not so much improved performance.

I keep myself hydrated, so that factor shouldn't have an effect. By the time I'm going to the gym in the morning I've had at least two 20 oz bottles of water.

During the winter I would drink a mug of green tea with honey and lemon. Singers drink tea with lemon and honey to help their throats. It may have been placebo, but it always seemed to work in the winter - going out into the chilliness and all. When the weather started warming up the tea seemed silly - no need to protect before I left the house.

I've tried it again in my lulls, to see if it would give me a boost. The results: inconsistent. Sometimes I feel good, sometimes I don't. Certainly not 60 minutes good. That tells me the tea neither hurts nor helps.

Now, the weather could also be a factor. Granted, I run inside at a gym, but walking from heat into the blasting A/C is a significant switch from cold or cool outside into a comfortable inside. I'm definitely sweating a lot more {differential between skin temp and ambient temp}.

Obviously working out is a huge mental game. If you go in thinking it will be awful, it will be. So in my search for a great workout, I've tried the positive thinking route. "You feel good. You're energized. Tummy feels good. This workout will be good." {"tummy feels good?" you might ask. my tummy is notoriously fickle. I feel nauseous or more generally rumbly and upset at most times.} The positive thinking doesn't consistently do the trick either!

Energy through food? Caffeine? I typically go to the gym within a couple of hours of breakfast {and, therefore, coffee}. My belly should be sated. The coffee, on the other hand, unpredictable effect. Sometimes I have just enough buzz to give me a boost. Sometimes I'm so jittery I don't how I even walked to the gym (no quantity increase, just sensitive days}. Sometimes I'm awake in my head but my body has no energy to be found.

Music? I have songs that make for fantastic runs. Music can certainly make or break my run - I am a serious tempo runner {blame it on dance, I have to hit the right rhythm with the music}. I have plenty of options for all my usual paces so you'd think even on an off day I could find a song to boost me onward...sometimes. Not always.

So what do you do? What is the secret to a great run (and proceeding workout)?

midweek bake

With the holiday weekend coming up I have a perfect excuse to whip up fun food!

With dishes waiting for me, I figured why not add a couple more if I'm doing them anyway. Plus, I have far too many overripe bananas in the fridge that I've been meaning to do something with.

Today's treat came in the form of Bethenny Frankel's Vegan Banana Oatmeal Chip Cookies. {though I'm now realizing I didn't read the title before whipping them up because my little modifications made a massive difference}.

Modified to:
Whole Wheat Vegan Banana Chocolate Chip Cookies
yield: 18-20 regular cookies or 10 supersized cookies {Bethenny claimed 8}

2 cup whole wheat flour {instead of Bethenny's oat flour, which I'm now thinking just meant oats - based on her picture, which I also didn't pay attention to}
1 tsp baking soda
1/2 tsp cinnamon {my addition because I love it}

1/2 tsp salt
3/4 cup overripe banana (≈1 large banana), mashed
1 cup, sugar
1/4 cup vegetable oil
2 tsp vanilla
2/3 cup dark chocolate chips

Preheat oven to 350° F. Line a baking sheet with parchment paper. Set aside.

In a medium bowl, sift together the flour, baking soda, cinnamon and salt. Whisk to combine. Set aside.

In the bowl of a stand mixer, beat together the bananas and sugar, beating until well combined. With the mixer on medium-low stream in the oil and vanilla. Gradually add the flour, mixing each addition until just combined and scraping down the bowl as necessary. Remove the bowl from the stand and fold in the chocolate chips.

Drop by heaping tablespoons on prepared baking sheet.

Bake 20-30 minutes, rotating pan halfway through, or until tester comes out clean and edges are brown...

Now I made these in 2 batches. The first I did in heaping tablespoon cookies and cooked them 30 minutes {Bethenny said 35 but they seemed well done}. I broke one open and it seemed dry, though I haven't tried them yet. I added a splash of coffee (probably a couple tablespoons) to the cookie dough before the next round. I scooped very generous tablespoons, probably equal to at least 2 tablespoons - maybe even 3. I left them in for 28 minutes and they still seemed well done but when tried were good - maybe a little dry.

If you try it, fiddle with the recipe - I know I will.

I had more banana than necessary for the recipe so I mashed the extra and threw them in the fridge for later use. Maybe tomorrow I'll whip up another round using oats instead of flour...if I do, I'll update with any progress made.

'Til then, enjoy!

the weekend wrap

An on-call weekend usually means, starting Saturday morning, not venturing beyond walking distance from our apartment {and even that's a stretch}. What it doesn't usually mean is David actually getting called into work...

By that measure, this weekend was not usual. Of course it wasn't. Because, after months of waiting, we finally had an appointment with the DirectTV installer for Saturday morning and David was ready to do all the question asking and paying attention that might accompany such an appointment.

With breakfast just out of the oven David's pager bleated angrily.

"We need you in an hour."

A busy operating room summoned {read: running two rooms and adequately staffed with two anesthesiologists...one of which who preferred to supervise).

At least we had an hour to eat and for David to brief me on the keynotes.

Saturday scones? Not this morning. {Perhaps breaking our tradition negated any possibility of a usual weekend. Should have known}

I saw some beautiful blueberry muffins on one of the many food blogs I ogle and decided I'd give them a whirl. 

This was a risky choice, being that, when given the option, I never choose a blueberry muffin. Just not a favorite. But David loves blueberry muffins. If given the option, that's the one he'd pick. And they were so pretty. So, decision made.

I call my adaptation: superstuffed, jumbo blueberry muffins.

Superstuffed Buttermilk Blueberry Muffins
yield: 7 oversized muffins
adapted from: gourmade at home

2 cups + 1 Tbsp flour
1/2 tsp salt
1 Tbsp baking powder
1/2 cup sugar
1 cup low fat buttermilk
2 large eggs
1/4 cup butter, melted and cooled slightly
3/4 tsp vanilla extract
2 cups fresh blueberries

Preheat the oven to 500°F. Grease muffin tins or line with paper liners. Set aside.

In a large bowl, sift together 2 cups flour, salt and baking powder. Whisk to combine. Set aside.

In the bowl of a stand mixer fitted with the whisk attachment, combine the sugar, eggs, butter, buttermilk and extracts. Whisk until well combined.

Create a well in the flour mixture. Pour in the wet ingredients. Gently stir until ingredients are well distributed and moistened. Be careful not to over mix, lumps are okay.

In a small bowl, combine the blueberries and the remaining Tbsp flour. Toss to coat. Gently fold into the batter.

Evenly divide the batter between muffin tins, filling two-thirds to three-quarters full. If desired, sprinkle tops with raw sugar.

Place muffins in the oven and immediately drop temperature to 400°F.

Bake 20-25 minutes, depending on muffin size, or until a tester inserted into the center of one of the muffins comes out clean.

The original recipe called for 1/2 teaspoon vanilla extract and 1/2 teaspoon lemon extract, however David is not a lemon fan and I don't typically keep lemon extract on hand so I just upped the vanilla factor. This change met mixed reviews: David thought {thinks} the muffins are perfect {he continues to eat them for breakfast before work}. I think they needed the tartness of the lemon to give them a little something. I also think wild blueberries would bring that tart element, though I probably won't be going back to the blueberry muffin well any time soon...not the traditional style at least. {I did see blueberry goat cheese muffins which are alluring}

The muffins were moist and muffin-y. Good, I guess, if blueberry muffins are your thing. {okay. that is a horrible sales pitch, but I am a really horrible judge. so, really, if you're into blueberry muffins these are probably worth trying - with or without the lemon since the blueberry-muffin-man enjoyed them as is}

With breakfast done and David out the door it was only moments before my phone was ringing, Mr. Install on his way.

I had formed a picture of Mr. Install in my head based on name alone. He was tallish and rather slender. White hair, parted in the middle, kind of dry, thick. He had a salt and pepper mustache. Thin-ish nose...I'm pretty sure my picture was of a maintenance man at Chico's whose name may or may not have been the same as Mr. Install.

Boy was I surprised when his voice came over the line. That's not what he sounded like in my head. Then when he arrived I was bowled over. I even had to email David to tell him how far off he was from my picture. {David, having heard Mr. Install's voice over the phone pictured one of his uncles. also not correct.} I don't think I ever would have pictured this man. He was actually slightly shorter than I {me in bare feet, he in boots}. He had coarse and curly-ish dark blond hair, kind of swept to one side but it may have done that on its own. Prominent darker blond/light brown beard and mustache. Same texture as his hair. Round nose. Not heavy by any means, but he had a stockiness about him. I most liken him to a gnome. Again, not the image I had created on my own.

And he was no quick worker. He arrived around 10:30a and was out the door (some work still-to-be-completed) just before 1p. This part should really not have come as a surprise, seeing as we first contacted him about switching to DirectTV on Feb 1st {please note Saturday's date was June 25th}. He was very nice, however. Tried to joke about his being MIA. I didn't joke back. The disappearance seemed a bit unprofessional to me, the customer {paying more than double for our prior cable service}.

Though Mr. Install has to return to finish the setup, when he left we were up and running with DirectTV - and that made me happy!

David timed his return home impeccably, calling no more than 20 minutes after Mr. Install's departure.

The rest of the day was business. Errand running {notably out of character, but David had already been called in so chances of a second call were slim}. We even ran all the way out to Warwick {this can truly only be appreciated if you've ever lived in a place as small as Rhode Island after living in a more spread out location - like Florida. any venture that takes you beyond your small city is a journey}.

In our adventure we stopped by Whole Foods in hopes of finding vegan marshmallows. No such luck, but we did come away with some ab fab homemade tortillas.

So they aren't really what I would classify as tortilla chips, more like really good, big chow mein noodles. With salt. You can taste the calories applying themselves to all your favorite spots. They're sooooooo delicious. {yes, we went to a "health food" store and just bought junk}

Sunday started with croissants and otherwise was completely uneventful. We made a very brief attempt at bathing suit hunting - to no avail. Seriously there's not much out there. Thank heavens for the internet!

i've heard it can be overwhelming...registering: round ii

If round one was overwhelming, round two was just the opposite. As I'd mentioned we planned on looking at a couple of pieces at Bloomie's that we were thinking about adding. We had pretty specific pieces in mind, but also figured we'd do some looking...this plan had been formed before we had discussed adding another registry location.

I guess we could have checked out some basics in bed and bath, but having been warned the first time out against registering too early for these seasonally changing items we've let them fall off our radar. Foundation pieces shouldn't change though. Comforter, pillows...maybe next time.

Fortunately we also planned to start our registry at location number two: Crate & Barrel.

Even this stop was kind of a bust. I will credit it to David not feeling well and the lingering disappointment from stop one {not to mention our poorly formed - and changed - plan}.

In other news on the registry front, Kim Kardashian has created a bit of hubbub surrounding her registry, having registered for many high ticket items totaling well over $100,000. Honestly, I wasn't blown away by this news. They are multi-millionaires with multi-millionaire friends. It makes sense.

Then, on the other end of the spectrum, there is Tony Romo, who registered for things that cost less than a single dollar. Really? I understand not wanting to ask for extravagant gifts when you have money of your own. But in that case I say why register at all? Instead of registering for things that your fortunately-funded guests can afford to buy that you may not normally treat yourself to, you ask them for things you could easily purchase for yourself? That seems even crazier to me.

We realized from our own trips out that we are likely going to register for much more than we could possibly receive and that there are things on our registry that some may think are simply too expensive. We have a clear and simple stance on the process: register for things we want. We are registering for gifts at a range of prices, but we're simply not going to register for things that we wouldn't buy {or treat ourselves to} if given the opportunity. We have no expectations as to what registering for the higher-end items will bring. What is the alternative? Scaling back our tastes and registering for different items simply because they cost less?

Not if that means registering for things we wouldn't buy ourselves.

In general, if I receive a gift that I don't think I'll actually use I feel extreme guilt in accepting it. I don't care if it cost nothing. I hate waste. Food, gifts, and especially money. I hate to feel that someone has spent money {and their time} on a gift that doesn't get used. I think this feeling would be amplified if I asked for something I didn't really want.

The typical argument that that isn't the point of a gift {the point being the thought the purchaser put into the gift and the intention of love behind it} is made moot by the fact that this is one situation that we are picking the list.

Other notes: Not everyone purchases from the registry and we can always buy what's left on our list!

So, what do you think? Can you register for too much or too expensive?

Any opinions on buying off-registry?

Similarly, what are your thoughts about disseminating sale info for the stores at which you've registered? I wouldn't know how one would put the info out there without appearing tacky, but from the guest perspective wouldn't it be nice information to have. If you can buy something at a discount when you planned on buying it anyway then what's the difference? Thoughts?

currently coveting

I have adored these custom hangers from Lila Frances from the moment I first saw them.

They look great in photos and they're just a little something special.

They can be as simple as "mrs [his name here]" or a variation with both first names.

I don't know which I love most.

I do know I want one!

pow pão: scenes from a monday in

We've gotten into a habit of off-day grocery shopping. Yesterday was the day.

Our grocery store normally has a cart of random foodstuffs that are seriously marked down. On occasion some goodie in the cart catches our eye.

This week it was some italian wafer cookies. We've picked up a bagged version of these treats  (from the same cart) in the past. Milk & vanilla creme. They were so light and wonderful. At 50¢ a piece how could we pass them up. David originally grabbed the dark chocolate, but then I found a few more to try. Mmmmm.

In other deliciousness, David had mentioned pão de quiejo not too long ago. For those unfamiliar, it's an interesting and scrumptious Portuguese cheese bread. They're similar to my {relatively} new favorite bread: pandebono (Columbian cheese bread aka the special little breads at Rayuela and Calle Ocho in NYC). It's chewy and gooey inside and crusty on the outside.

our {remaining} pão

Last night I whipped some up with the tapioca flour we had left over from our last attempt at these little breads. They were heavenly. {for my dinner i split a couple and topped them with fried eggs with onions and green peppers...fabulous}

Pão de Quiejo

makes about 20-25 little breads

2 1/4 cups tapioca flour
1/4 cup canola oil
1/2 cup whole milk
2 large eggs, at room temperature
1/4 cup Parmigiano Reggiano, freshly grated
3/4 cup sharp cheddar cheese, freshly and coarsely grated
1 tsp kosher or sea salt

NOTE: feel free to try with different cheeses.

Preheat oven to 375° F. Line a baking sheet lined with a Silpat or parchment paper.

In a medium bowl, sift together the tapioca flour and salt. Whisk to combine.

In a small saucepan, heat the milk and oil until scalding over medium. Turn off the heat. Slowly stir in the tapioca flour. The dough will be very dry and lumpy.

Let the dough cool slightly. Add the eggs, one at a time, breaking up the eggs with a spoon and kneading them into the dough. Mix until just incorporated.

Turn the dough out onto a clean surface. Lightly knead the grated cheese into the dough. The dough should be very tacky and lumpy. Don’t overmix.

Using oiled hands, pull off ping-pong ball-sized pieces of dough. Roll gently them between your hands to smooth. Place them on prepared baking sheet.

Bake 20 minutes or until the outside starts to firm. Reduce the temperature to 325° F. Bake an additional 15-20 minutes.

Serve warm.

from: globetrotter diaries

I came up about a quarter cup short on the flour and adjusted the other quantities accordingly. Halving a recipe is easy enough. I wouldn't recommend weird adjustments like mine, even though the breads came out just fine.

Next time I think I'm going to try subbing goat cheese for the cheddar. And in the meantime I will continue to search for a pandebono recipe...

{another} sceneless weekend

I'm trying to prioritize this blog into my routine. My daily routine doesn't consist of a whole lot so it really shouldn't be a problem but so far my consistency is no good.

My scenes from the weekend have also devolved from real scenes with mini recaps into play-by-plays sans any photos at all...

The problem: routine.

I love our weekend traditions. However, they don't make for exciting photo ops {who likes reruns}. I like to shoot the details. The food. The places. But when you're only at home or eating the same croissant you ate last week... I usually think of details I could have captured... after the fact. Which also does me no good.

So therein lies my challenge {and really a primary challenge of this blog to begin with}. Capture the normal in a worthwhile way.

This weekend wasn't even a case of routine. So no excuse!

Saturday, the fam got together to celebrate my cousin's finishing his grad program. Having grown up far from the extended family I love a get together, and they don't seem to happen too often. Highlights: chatting with the cousins {and the nearest aunt. trying to talk to anyone further down the table was a nightmare}. Lowlights: it was a chicken farm. {read: they do one thing well. it was family style and they served a limited menu. chicken, iceberg salad, fries, shells with red sauce, and rolls.} The food was fine. Not a highlight but edible. The cupcakes my aunt brought were a nice end to the meal!

As I said, plenty to photo. I'm just not big on toting my camera into new restaurants. I'll get there.

Sunday, we had grand plans to work on our registry {the last available weekend for the next month}. There were a couple of pieces we wanted to add that we wanted to check out in person...problem was the Bloomingdale's by us is considerably smaller, with less product and therefore less to see in person.

While things didn't quite pan our as hoped on the registry front, we also had plans to do a bit of bathing suit shopping...and in keeping with the theme of the day, there were none that I was especially fond of.

Finally we made our way down to 40 carrots to wrap up our day on a positive note: veggie juice and a chicken salad wrap for me {yes, i know i knock chicken all the time but i'm a sucker for chicken salad} and a smoothie for David. These didn't disappoint {I still have half my wrap in the fridge}.

Better luck next weekend.

happy summer

welcome summer...

the sun is shining. the weather is warm. the tomato blossoms have sprouted. now i just need the fruit, a tan and some drinks by the pool...

happy summer!

the things no one tells you about working with a planner

Hello. My name is Gillian. I am a control freak.

This tendency might not be one that works well with a wedding planner.

I am the kind of person that doesn't like to accept help of any kind if it involves one taking something off my plate to complete without my supervision.

When it comes to my wedding, I want to be heavily involved. While I know my day cannot be perfect, I feel that with a heavy guiding hand I can get it pretty darn close.

So why hire a wedding planner if I need control? Doesn't hiring a wedding planner imply that I would want to relinquish some control? And doesn't it inherently mean that I need to play well with others? And relinquish at least a little control?

Well, we wanted a man on the ground. We wanted someone that understood our vision and could bring it to light. On those fronts I still harbor faith.

We needed someone to pare down our options (even in the Tampa to Bradenton market there are so many). While, yes, we have time on our side {I even vastly more than David}, we really don't want to go through a thousand reviews {that we tend to doubt anyway - some people are very easily pleased} and we certainly don't want to check out a million websites {some don't do the company justice, others make them look better than they might be}.

We wanted expertise. How do we go about x? What is reasonable for us to pay for y?

We wanted assistance in attaining (close to) perfection.

We wanted stress reduction.

We're getting stress amplification. Dramatic amplification.

More than once so far since signing our contract with our planner have we both totally stressed in reviewing our correspondence.

Cause of our stress? Poor communication. {?} At least so it seems. More specifically, the stress flares when we feel like we have expressed our desires clearly and explicitly and they are liberally interpreted. At best.

After the first such breakdown we had a super-meeting with our planner and thought we all ended on the same page.

This time it's about catering. {just thinking about it makes my heart rate jump}

I do give our planner credit. She took the initiative to reach out to caterers, knowing that we walked away from our meeting in April with catering on David and I's to-do list. {I'm not being sarcastic, she knew we fell off the planning wagon and was getting started for us} The problem is, the menus she's been working on (going back and forth on quotes) only vaguely reflect what we discussed. The menus are starting points and aren't concrete. I know. The problem is she's spending time heading in the wrong direction. Again, this still isn't a problem for some. It is her time after all. But time is money. I hate wasted time. And I hate that, by doubling back over work she's started, the time she spent was wasted. And, honestly, not just time for work for our wedding. She could have used that time for another bride. Double work simply isn't an efficient use of anyone's time. And I love efficiency.

Problem #2: we talked food. For a good portion of our super-face-to-face.

We have a clear vision of food. We have super-specific ideas. We shared said ideas. Apps, entrées, sides, service. We had ideas and we shared 'em. The menus, and therefore the quotes, include food that we even specifically said we absolutely, without question, did not want {namely chicken, a bird i prefer to live on and produce eggs than be killed for consumption. perhaps one day I will address my ethical feelings about food, this time it's strictly on the basis that I - we - feel chicken is a waste of a meal - and therefor a life. there are too many things that taste supremely better}. We know that the options we want (fish, beef) cost more. We specifically addressed that the cut of beef and kind of fish are highly negotiable to work with our budget. But to leave them out? What then is the point of obtaining a quote? And, further, negotiating it? It's artificially low.

And then there's the part of this whole thing where David and I want everything to be smooth and we don't want to make waves and say "no. wrong." at every turn. We really adore our planner. We keep saying we think she'll prove her worth when it comes to...And we do think she'll be worth it - just as soon as we get this communication thing under control.

This time, like last time, we have addressed it. We are engineers at heart. Problem solvers. We prefer to put in more time (work) up front to do it right the first time. So if something is unclear or more specifics are needed get us into the conversation early. Before approaching the vendors even. We want to be involved. Communication is key.

I won't lose any more sleep. Things will improve.

They must.

objective: health

Yesterday I went on yet another food rant. I've said it before, but these rants are not meant to be any kind of "oh-poor-skinny-girl" or obsessive eating disorder complaining.

So why obsess about what I'm eating?

Because, once upon a time, I could actually call myself a healthy person.

Healthy = exercise + balanced diet + regular little treats

{though they can hardly be called treats if they happen regularly. what then makes it a "treat"?}

So, really, it's not what I'm eating, or even how much. It's the lack of balance.

The progression away from this healthy has been just that: progressive.

The other day I was at Trader Joe's on an errand to restock my supply of dark chocolate mini peanut butter cups {they're divine}. A woman looking at some other candy conversationally commented "Don't those look delicious?". I responded honestly: "They are." An answer to which she seemed entirely taken aback by. "You eat them." "I do." "And you actually swallow them?" She sounded incredulous. "All things in moderation, right?" was my response. As soon as I left I realized what I said wasn't quite true. {not to drift too far off topic but her reaction can be equated to saying "I'm sure you love those" to a heavier person. i'm certain she meant it as a compliment but her dramatic reaction was sort of irritating, if not offensive}

I don't question that weight is not a problem for me. Blessed with a fast metabolism? Maybe. The women on my mom's side tend to be thin, but my dad's side, obesity. But I work out. It's as simple as that.

David and I started going to the gym in Fort Myers and have been great about keeping it up, with a few exceptions, since we started. On a good week I make it to the gym 5 days, an off week 3. I probably average 4. Sometime I can't get myself to go at all. I actually enjoy running on a treadmill {temperature regulation and all}. If I'm feeling good I'll go until I don't. Otherwise, I do a 30 minute run (at varying speeds) and a combined two and a half minute warm-up/cool down. I like lifting (light) weights and doing all variations of ab work {my personal favorite since my dance days}. I hate beyond hate squats and lunges, and, though I can tolerate weight machines for legs, I don't enjoy it as much as upper body so I tend to skip lower body altogether. But I work out. And I push myself. But how I can preach moderation is pretty rich.

It's only recently that I realized that moderation is simply not my thing. And I have started realizing I work out so I can eat whatever I want whenever I want and it was always within reason.

Obviously no one can eat anything non-stop {no one except swimmers that are actually training and burn, like, ten thousand calories a day}. But I have started, slowly but surely, eat more and more and more of whatever I want whenever I want. And "whatever I want" has gone from well balanced (fruits, veggies, nuts and other healthy fat, assorted protein - though mostly eggs, and of course the not so healthy stuff mixed in) to no balance (lots of popcorn of various forms - we'll call it "good junk").

It started harmlessly, snacking through lunch on the weekend instead of having a meal. An apple and fruit dip, chips and salsa, a cup of pre-prepared popcorn (kettle corn or Smartfood). Healthy enough, "good junk" at worst. I've always tended to consider the weekends my free eating time anyway. I paid enough attention to maintaining a balanced diet during the week. Then I started replacing the occasional midweek fruit or veggie snack with calorically equivalent "good junk". Then on the weekend quantity increased. Snacking a bit more. Then I started bringing in other junk, chips and the like, in reasonable quantities but still in addition to the other, better, snacks. And so it has spiraled until this last weekend, in which I was eating more freq than I wasn't and nothing had any kind of nutritional value. I'm not eating a bunch of fast food or bags of chips. My drug of choice continues to be whatever I can eat the most of, namely popcorn of some nature.

So the qualm is, yes, the amount I'm eating, but really the amount of nothing I'm eating. While popcorn is supposedly loaded with fiber, it's like any other snack food. It seems to lack the capacity to actually satisfy. It tastes delicious, but I'm always left wanting more. Never sated.

So that's enough of that. I'm getting back on track. I want to be healthy. I want to eat a balanced diet {with what i will continue to call little treats}. I still want to eat whatever I want. I just want some balance!!! So that's my mission, healthy by way of balance. No dieting, just conscious eating. After all, I enjoy food and I do work out. So I want to enjoy the benefits of my workouts. Just in a better way.

I'm kickstarting the mission with a week in which junk is off limits (and that includes gum - and I chew way to much and it upsets my stomach anyway). Hopefully this will help regulate my hunger and my cravings for the worse choices. Then I'll get back in my happy balance, in which I make more good choices than bad.

I think it's a fair goal.

So, to the pursuit of health!

scenes from [last] weekend...

Scenes from last weekend?

I just got back to posting last week, how could I fall off so quickly?

Well, I was fiancé-sitting. {excuse} But really. I was. David had his wisdom teeth pulled Thursday morning and I am super-strange about how I divide my time. I make arbitrary rules for myself {more to come on that front another time} and, as I've said many times, I am a creature of habit. When David is home I spend my time with him.  And therefore scenes from last weekend were never blogged and based on our weekend there were no scenes worth capturing.

This weekend I was tasked as care giver. I had to change David's gauze and try to get him to eat at least a little. Now, I have always considered myself a maternal person. I know I'm domestic, I kind of thought maternal went with the bag. Well, not so much. I love to cook and, for the most part, actually enjoy cleaning. But I think I failed this test. David wasn't by any means a needy patient. Actually, he slept most of the time. I just felt like I should be doing more. Checking on him etc. I tried to limit his walking around, but often was stopping him more often than preventing him {if that makes any sense}. I really sat around doing nothing. I am currently missing my maternal instinct. Perhaps it will come when I feel like we're closer to the children stage. Don't get me wrong, I'm great with kids, but when it comes to ache or illness {or irritation, for that matter, though that wasn't a factor in this instance} I lack all sympathy. Okay, that's an exaggeration. When David was in pain I was very attentive. I wished I could do more. But when it comes to his concerns about whether or not things are normal, my feeling is always that "you're fine." I'm just, for whatever reason, a bit too tough. This toughness comes out in force when it comes to illness and injury. Meaning: I typically say "it's fine" unless there is evidence that whatever it is is not fine, like severe swelling, bone breaking the skin, coughing up blood. Clearly extreme cases {none of which we've actually experienced}, but trips to the doctor are preventative and otherwise rare. My lack of sympathy makes me feel guilty, but it is what it is.

So what did I do for those four days? I made endless bowls of soup. Ran to the grocery to hold us over until we can do a full trip. A few chores {i had to do the dishes. who knew a sick person tore through so many? the piles were killing me.}. And I ate. A lot. All weekend (which spanned Thursday to Sunday). No gym. But I certainly ate. 

This has been a new trend for me. Eat when I'm hungry, try to be healthy during the week. {though, looking at my weekday diet, I think healthy is even a stretch} Then when the weekend comes I let myself eat junk. Tons of junk. Almost exclusively junk. I typically skip dinner, being so full of junk I'm not hungry. This weekend was a bit more problematic because it spanned more than half of a week. On top of that it seemed like I was trying to out-do my eating with each passing day. {and again with my lack of sympathy, some might not eat in solidarity or sympathy pain for the other. this proved quite the opposite for me.}

I would certainly consider myself a bulk eater. I would rather eat a bowl of snack food than a real meal {whether it's popcorn or grapes or broccoli, I choose what I can eat most of}. That methodology usually works out. That is, when I'm trading these snacks for that meal. It also works when I have structure. This care-taker weekend was an example of the plan not working. I had no structure. We literally didn't do anything. I had nothing to frame my day around. Our wake-sleep cycles were off. The weather was awful. I was still off from our recent trips. Plus, no scone or croissant traditions with David not being up to solid food. All-in-all: recipe for disaster. So, now, back to normal. But this time a new normal. An improved normal. And David will join my revamp once he's back to full speed {and after we go out for his first solid meal - he wants to do it right}. {and i've totally lost focus}

So, now, on to scenes from last weekend. And there is only one to speak of:

May I introduce Chocolate Chip Bacon Brown Sugar Scones.

These were intended to be Bacon Chocolate Chip Scones but I went a bit overboard with the chocolate chips. When the mix was dry it all looked in balance...it was not. Next time {meaning next time we take this route, which will not be next time we make scones. never the same thing twice}

Chocolate Chip Bacon Brown Sugar Scones

makes 8 massive scones or 12-16 regular scones

3 cups all purpose flour

1/3 cup brown sugar

1 tsp salt

2 1/2 tsp baking powder

1/2 tsp baking soda

3/4 cup (1 1/2 sticks) unsalted butter, cubed and chilled

1 cup buttermilk (I did about an 1/8-1/4 cup more than this but the dough came out a bit too moist)

10 slices bacon, crisped and crumbled

1 cup chocolate chips (next time I will reduce all the way down to 1/3 cup)

Preheat the oven to 400° F. Line a baking sheet with parchment paper. Set aside.

In the bowl of a food processor, combine the flour, sugar, salt, baking powder and baking soda. Pulse to combine. Add butter. Pulse to form a coarse meal with pieces of butter no larger than pea-sized. Add bacon and chocolate chips. Pulse to distribute. Stream in buttermilk, pulsing just until dough starts coming together.

Turn dough out onto a floured surface. Pat to pull dough together. Knead slightly to even consistency. Roll to 3/4-inch thickness. Fold in thirds. Repeat, folding in thirds in the opposite direction. Roll to 3/4-inch thick disk. Cut into wedges. Transfer to baking sheet. If desired, brush tops with egg wash. Sprinkle with sugar (or cinnamon sugar - mmmm).

Bake 20-25 minutes, begin checking at 15 minutes, or until evenly golden.

Enjoy!

i've heard it can be overwhelming...registering

We were on a wedding planning roll on our Florida trip and in the following week. We felt like we were on it. We had to-dos. Then we signed contracts. Then we got out of planning mode altogether. I don't know what it is. I have felt personally resistant to doing any kind of work on any of it. Maybe I was bitten by the "we've-got-time" bug. Whatever it is, we want to get decisions made early and we're hurting only ourselves by avoiding.

When we planned our weekend in New York we had more want-to-dos on our list than we had time (or meals) to do them. We only had a couple must-dos. Chief among them: starting our registry at Bloomingdale's. {yes, we have tons of time but people are starting to ask so we may as well at least start}

We decided Monday would be best since it's the last day of the weekend and, like Sunday, we know we like to be a little more low-key knowing it's our last free day. So, filled and fueled by a delicious meal from one of our favorite brunch spots, we took to 59th and 3rd to the registry department.

Immediately, I was intimidated. "Hi, do you have an appointment?" the girl at the front desk asked. {no. we're supposed to?} "No, we don't." "Okay, fortunately we should be able to get you right in. Nathalie will help you, she should be back in a few minutes." {who would have thought you needed an appointment to scan stuff on your own in a store}

The front room wasn't very big, and there we sat with three other couples. While we waited I surveyed our peers {though "peers" might be a stretch}. One couple seemed a little older than us. Another, already married toting bags of returns. The last were the ones that got me.

He was sprawled out on the couch. One arm on the arm the other stretched over the back. Leg crossed, foot-on-knee style, taking up space. He had glasses. Overly styled hair {i don't like it when it appears that the man has stood in front of the mirror for any significant amount of time and this guy was more than sporting that look.} He wore khakis and a button-down with an oversized watch. His demeanor said he owned the place. Her ring said they could. At least three karats. Oval cut. Flanked by two yellow diamonds. It was pretty. I would had liked it if not for the smug air that clung to these people. She had just popped back into the room from scanning a new item. She commented that that item alone was $760. He nodded. The kind of knocking his head back that said par for the course. He had the air of someone that would refer to others as "the help". He made my skin crawl.

Then Nathalie came and took us back. We gave her our basic details: date, approximate guest count. She talked us through some of the highlights of our bag and suggested we pick one room to start with. We figured we could do the dining room and kitchen. We're pretty sure of ourselves in those areas. I get David to look at china whenever we go into a department store so china is where we'd start.

He likes something simple. I like something with a bit more character. Fun. Whimsical. While still being adult and timeless. We looked at china for a half hour or more before Nathalie came out to check on us. We narrowed down the designer we liked and knew we were interested in mixing and matching. We had pulled a few collections over to the trial table to see how they worked together. Our dinner plates would be the most simple. We'd accent from there with a slight pattern. The problem was both the patterns worked well with the base and we weren't pulled one way or the other. That's where Nathalie comes in, loaded with all sorts of crazy logic. She went in the back and pulled out a second set of the basic collection and arranged two place settings, each accented with a different pattern. Did we like them side by side? Yes, for a large dinner party the alternating patterns would be fun. Different. Then with smaller groups we had options. What a simple solution.Then she pulled out the coordinating serve wear. Cream and sugar bowls, platters, serving bowls. It was all too much. We said we'd come back to it and moved on to flatware.

We picked up every fork and knife in the room. If we liked the look, we didn't like the weight. The things that felt good in the hand were not the style we were after. We held the sterling {not returnable. FYI}. There were styles we liked and the weight is just right. The issue here lies in the price. Nearly $500 for one 5 piece set. Seriously? We would never. If we would buy it ourselves we are surely not going to ask someone else to. {We have since found some online that we like. Now we just have to find it to see how it feels in hand.}

By this point I was entirely overwhelmed by the decision making. Nathalie did remind us that if we got our china and changed our minds we could always bring it back. It took a bit of pressure off, but I prefer to get it right the first time.

Instead of going room by room we decided to simply follow the floor around and thought luggage should be a simple stop. We only wanted a couple of pieces. We started at one brand but soon found ourselves happy with another, less expensive, but as reliable option. Just as we were about to scan the salesman told us that the line was being discontinued and to stick with the big brands {as it turns out said line does not appear to be being discontinued by the designer. it is possible Bloomingdale's no longer plans to carry it} So back to our first likes. Scanned. In and out and time for the next stop.

Kitchen? Where's it at? Let's just look at the crystal. It may be a reach but it doesn't hurt to add it. No? Just a couple of pieces.

Then we found the kitchen. We have long known what brand cookware we want. Picking the pieces is a different story. We cook all the time. What the heck do we use? I think we're confident in our selections. Maybe? We can always go back. We need to do more anyway. Next up, cast iron. Just a few pieces. What will be most useful? That was pretty quick and painless.

Next electrics? I like to do research on these kinds of things. We need a new toaster oven {one of our most used kitchen tools, currently on it's last leg}. I know exactly which one I want. But with the pressure the name completely escaped me. Then David's phone was being slow and refused to pull up the page. We'll have to add it later {we have}. Okay, we'll just come back to electrics. We can do knives.

All we had to do was hold a couple from the set we've been eyeing. Unfortunately kitchen is a very popular {read lots of customers} and understaffed floor. When we were finally able to flag down a registry consultant she had to wrangle a key from someone on the floor to unlock the knives. Then she had to wrestle with a temperamental lock. When we finally got to hold them we were happy. There are a few more that they didn't have in the store to scan that we will want in our block. We'll add them next time. And they didn't have a knife block for the loose knives. Only the sets. We'll have to add it at Crate and Barrel.

With all that I was burnt out. I felt like I'd been running a race and there was still so much left to do. We didn't look at glassware, we gave up on serve ware. We didn't get to bakeware or any kitchen accessories. That's only kitchen and dining! Then there are bedrooms and bathrooms. And I thought it could be done in one day. It can't. Next time I'll be prepared for my stress level. And maybe I'll grab veggie juice to start...

memorial day travels: part ii

**This recap has spiraled into a play-by-play but I love New York so much I want you to experience it with me. Feel free to skip the post.**

Leisurely. Late. Lovely. Perfect first evening in the bustling city.

Our Sunday tradition had to be upheld {in style} with "the best croissant" in the city according to Serious Eats. So we hoofed it down Spring Street {a well worn road on every trip to NYC} to Ceci Cela. Then, armed with our pastries and an iced coffee for me, we wandered to a park in Chinatown to enjoy our pre-brunch treats. We stuck out like strangers in a strange land but it was shady and we were more concerned with the food at hand. The croissant were scrumptious. We were surprised when he tossed the cooled treats in paper bag {we always eat ours hot out of the oven} and they weren't quite as flaky as I like, but the flavor. The flavor, was buttery perfection. I would no doubt return, but likely after hitting up some others on the list.

Next up, more wandering to kill time {a trend we don't really mind, we love a pedestrian city}. The heat was picking up so we did some pre-registry browsing in the massive Crate & Barrel. Before long it was time to trek back east to Rayuela for brunch with friends, including my aforementioned cousin & beau {we were late because along the way we stumbled upon the Rebecca Taylor boutique. she's my new love. i couldn't resist. but we walked out empty handed because we were late...which worked out to our advantage later}. We were hoping to enjoy sangria brunch in the UWS at Calle Ocho {one of the best meal deals in the city if you can swing a reservation. unlimited sangria and breakfast - with a ridiculous bread basket - all for less than $15. but according to open table this would not be an option for our group within 8 weeks of our trip. so that was out}. So back to our actual brunch destination: Rayuela. Omigoodness. Okay, so the sangria is an additional $10 and so is the bread basket {go with the pan. it was worth it}. But I must say the food is certainly superior to that of Calle Ocho. The sangria is made with cava so it's got that bubbly edge and it comes in 3 flavors (as opposed to 6 uptown). I was partial to the apricot-guava. mmmmm. Add that one to the list. Half our table of 6 ordered the same thing - a rarity in this group - arepa con huevo. David, a man averse to a runny egg and not the biggest fan of cornmeal of any kind so far (a la polenta or grits - though I try and try) put his away handily. Add it to the list as a place return. It's just too bad it's on the east side. I seem to be partial to the west.

What grand way did we spend the rest of the day? Last year it was a long day of wine in the park followed by the most sinful pizza at Keste and a night out at Joshua Tree. This year we spent it like the low-key folks we are. On the roof deck of my cousin's apartment once again. This time armed with booze, lots of snacks and great conversation. Not that we should have been hungry, but David and I ventured down to our favorite cart to treat everyone to Halal (how none of these New Yorkers had had it before was offensive!). Needless to say, the meal was {gluttonously} enjoyed by all.

Monday started downtown {shocking}. This time in Tribeca at Bubby's for brunch {cash only. be warned}. The meal was as enjoyable as always. We ate too much...fuel for our next adventure: starting our registry (details to follow).

When we'd had enough for the day {and it was a long day making decisions} we switched gears to shoes. I was too overwhelmed on our first trip to the Bloomie's shoe department {too many women jostling for a deal}...plus I had peaked on the Bloomie's site and found a perfect replacement for my ratty gold espadrilles.

They had them. They had them in my size. They looked great with my dress. They looked great on my feet. SOLD. At the register we learned that these lovelies we not on sale {twice in two trips, unacceptable}. This time, however, we were armed with a smartphone {on sale online} and an incredibly helpful sales associate {if you haven't gotten the message: shop Bloomie's}. He gave us the discounted price. Plus our additional 20% for being insiders. We walked away paying less than half. I would have felt guilty not taking them.

Just one more stop before we could leave. Can you guess? Rebecca Taylor. And I found a dress I'd tried on at the store. I'd loved it already from afar. Considered it for Easter but never tried it on until our stop into the boutique. Then when I had it on, it just wasn't right. It was pretty. I just didn't have to have it {which is the way I shop}. But there she was. There were a bunch of them on the sale rack. One in my size. I'd give it one more shot.

And it fit just right. So I bought it. It was on sale in the boutique. It was significantly less at Bloomie's. The day was moving along the right track.

Then it was finally time for David's lone request: corn dogs from Shake Shack. There is a buzz around these corn dogs. Not a loud, bring-the-whole-city kind of buzz. But a soft buzz. An in-the-know buzz. Three weekends per year Shake Shack makes corn dogs. Memorial Day. Fourth of July. Labor Day. They're only available at the UWS location. We were expecting to stand in line, and when we arrived we did. But it wasn't bad. We're Floridians. It was no Disney line. We've seen worse for food. We've waited in worse for food. This was doable. It might have been 15 minutes. It might have been a half hour. Soon enough we were ordering corn dogs, fries and milkshakes. I wasn't even hungry yet...Then we waited. It takes time. Then the people in front of us (who ordered about the same meal) got theirs. And the people behind us got theirs. After half the line behind us also got theirs I had David pop up to the counter to check on our food. "The corn dogs take longer. It'll be coming." Okay, maybe other people were just having burgers. As I sat on the bench and watched order after order of corn dog come up and get passed to someone else I sent David up one more time. It had to have been close to 40 minutes by that point and we had, in the past fallen victim to the phantom check that somehow never made it to the kitchen. I didn't think I was hungry but I'd started to shake a bit. David talked to the guy at the counter again. He looked surprised. He called one manager over. Then another. It looked like a lot of apologies. David waited. I joined. Phantom check. Great service. Our meal came right up. Our voided check came up soon after. The meal was so good in a bad way. Hot dogs. Battered and fried. Yukon gold french fries. A peanut butter shake for me. Vanilla for him. My shake was heaven in a cup.

But we weren't done. We were still uptown so we had one more stop to make before heading back to the hotel. Levain Bakery. We needed to add more sinfulness to our trip. This time by way of a massive chocolate chip cookie (one for each). We couldn't pack it in right then, but I couldn't resist a little nibble when we got back to the room. And it was heavenly.

We finally had a fancy night, just us two. I put on my pretty (full-priced) dress. David put on his nice jeans and his new shirt. We just went to the hotel bar (Bar Basque), which was actually kind of nice. We normally go with beer or wine. This time we each opted for something a little fancier. My first concoction was called an Aduriz Martini. Cantaloupe, grapefruit, gin and campari. It was delightful. Flirty. It had the little kick from the grapefruit juice. But the next drink I call crack (actually an Azrak Peach & Saffron Cobbler). It was a wine base with muddled peach and lemon juice and simple syrup. It was dangerous. Nectar. Fabulous.

Tuesday was our last day. I was sad when I got up. I took one last hop in our fun, though temperamental, shower. Then I got dressed and packed our things. We didn't do much with our last day. Breakfast at Balthazar. Price adjustment at Bloomingdale's. We stumbled onto Eataly on our long journey up to Rockefeller Center. That place could be dangerous. It all looked so good. The fresh pasta, the produce, fish, the salumi, even the meat counter. Then there's the gelato. And the café. Nothing exciting happened on this final shopping day. No great deals or must-have pieces. Just enjoying our last walk around.

Our last excursion brought us back to Prince Street (the same street on which we started our weekend). This time to Cafe Habana {a tip from my last boss, T}. She insisted that we get the corn. It's grilled. "Mexican style". Slathered in mayo, coated in chili powder, lime and cotija cheese. Ridiculous. So good. And that was just the starter. The mojitos and entrees were just as yummy. So was our company, more cousin love.

we received our checks on postcards. love it!

The end of our meal marked the end of our trip. We took the subway up to our hotel, grabbed our bags and went off to wait for the bus. We didn't want to leave. David was as attached as I was this time. The ride home we talked about how we wished we could stay. How we would love to up and move {David's under contract}. Eventually we'll make it there. For now we will love it from afar and try to make it back as often as is feasible.

On the home front, we expected to return to a scene from Jumanji (given the rate our tomato plants had been growing prior to our trip).

The result wasn't far off.

I also woke up Wednesday with a sore throat and exhausted. Back to routine? Gym? I don't think so. Thursday? My throat really hurt. Gym attempt? 5 minutes on the treadmill and out. Friday, decided against the gym, for recovery. I'm still sick but I think I'm finally shaking it.

Another note from the balance of the week: I had an incessant craving for more cart food...'til next time.