Hello. My name is Gillian. I am a control freak.
This tendency might not be one that works well with a wedding planner.
I am the kind of person that doesn't like to accept help of any kind if it involves one taking something off my plate to complete without my supervision.
When it comes to my wedding, I want to be heavily involved. While I know my day cannot be perfect, I feel that with a heavy guiding hand I can get it pretty darn close.
So why hire a wedding planner if I need control? Doesn't hiring a wedding planner imply that I would want to relinquish some control? And doesn't it inherently mean that I need to play well with others? And relinquish at least a little control?
Well, we wanted a man on the ground. We wanted someone that understood our vision and could bring it to light. On those fronts I still harbor faith.
We needed someone to pare down our options (even in the Tampa to Bradenton market there are so many). While, yes, we have time on our side {I even vastly more than David}, we really don't want to go through a thousand reviews {that we tend to doubt anyway - some people are very easily pleased} and we certainly don't want to check out a million websites {some don't do the company justice, others make them look better than they might be}.
We wanted expertise. How do we go about x? What is reasonable for us to pay for y?
We wanted assistance in attaining (close to) perfection.
We wanted stress reduction.
We're getting stress amplification. Dramatic amplification.
More than once so far since signing our contract with our planner have we both totally stressed in reviewing our correspondence.
Cause of our stress? Poor communication. {?} At least so it seems. More specifically, the stress flares when we feel like we have expressed our desires clearly and explicitly and they are liberally interpreted. At best.
After the first such breakdown we had a super-meeting with our planner and thought we all ended on the same page.
This time it's about catering. {just thinking about it makes my heart rate jump}
I do give our planner credit. She took the initiative to reach out to caterers, knowing that we walked away from our meeting in April with catering on David and I's to-do list. {I'm not being sarcastic, she knew we fell off the planning wagon and was getting started for us} The problem is, the menus she's been working on (going back and forth on quotes) only vaguely reflect what we discussed. The menus are starting points and aren't concrete. I know. The problem is she's spending time heading in the wrong direction. Again, this still isn't a problem for some. It is her time after all. But time is money. I hate wasted time. And I hate that, by doubling back over work she's started, the time she spent was wasted. And, honestly, not just time for work for our wedding. She could have used that time for another bride. Double work simply isn't an efficient use of anyone's time. And I love efficiency.
Problem #2: we talked food. For a good portion of our super-face-to-face.
We have a clear vision of food. We have super-specific ideas. We shared said ideas. Apps, entrées, sides, service. We had ideas and we shared 'em. The menus, and therefore the quotes, include food that we even specifically said we absolutely, without question, did not want {namely chicken, a bird i prefer to live on and produce eggs than be killed for consumption. perhaps one day I will address my ethical feelings about food, this time it's strictly on the basis that I - we - feel chicken is a waste of a meal - and therefor a life. there are too many things that taste supremely better}. We know that the options we want (fish, beef) cost more. We specifically addressed that the cut of beef and kind of fish are highly negotiable to work with our budget. But to leave them out? What then is the point of obtaining a quote? And, further, negotiating it? It's artificially low.
And then there's the part of this whole thing where David and I want everything to be smooth and we don't want to make waves and say "no. wrong." at every turn. We really adore our planner. We keep saying we think she'll prove her worth when it comes to...And we do think she'll be worth it - just as soon as we get this communication thing under control.
This time, like last time, we have addressed it. We are engineers at heart. Problem solvers. We prefer to put in more time (work) up front to do it right the first time. So if something is unclear or more specifics are needed get us into the conversation early. Before approaching the vendors even. We want to be involved. Communication is key.
I won't lose any more sleep. Things will improve.
They must.
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